It's The Little Things That Bug Me

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Are Tighty-Whities Making A Comeback?

Are there little things in life that bug you, just drive you crazy?  I'm sure I can come up with a slew of personal peeves.  Sure, there are things that people do that make you nuts.  It was so bad I felt compelled to mention this to a marriage counselor many years ago.  "She ties the plastic bread bag in a knot after she gets her couple of slices out," I said.  "It pisses me off that I have to pry open the round knot every time I want a piece of bread."  His solution: "Get a pair of scissors and cut the knot off."  Well, that would have never worked.  I recoiled in horror at the thought of the bag dwindling down to something the size of a Ziploc sandwich bag.  The ultimate solution was divorce.  Never again would I be subjected to such abuse.

But there are things that cannot be blamed on others, things that happen to you and are due completely to your actions.  They happen over and over again throughout one's life as if you're being punished for some unknown, unseen transgression.

Here are two of mine.  Both, oddly enough, involve the act of getting dressed (or undressed).

  • Shoelaces -- Why is it every time I sit down to untie my shoelaces, they tie themselves in knots?  I swear, it gets so frustrating that I sometimes pull my shoes off in frustration -- laces still hopelessly knotted.  I really do try to pull the strings so that they do not intertwine, but half the time they do so anyway.  I've considered cutting them off.  Or maybe even buying a pair of those "nursing-type" sneakers with Velcro tie-downs.  Ugh!
  • Underpants -- It's been at least 15 years since my young son saw me in my underpants and told me how out-of-fashion I was.  Yes, I was wearing "tighty-whities."  Always had worn them.  My son said I needed to switch to boxer shorts, and I reluctantly changed over.  They were OK, but the first time I sat on my testicle, and had to drive 100 miles on my motorcycle without adjusting, made me change over to the more-snug knit boxers.  But here's the rub:  It seems I can't put them on, while balancing on one leg, without one of the legs of the shorts getting wrapped inside itself.  There I am, left hopping around the bedroom on one leg, trying to get my other leg through the now-closed leg-hole.  Gawd!
If you have similar frustrations, I'd love to hear about them.  Am I the only person who's being driven mad by these supernatural occurrences?





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