Ouch! The Pouch.

 Why No Fly?

Like most kids my age, I grew up wearing white cotton "tighty whities."  I'm sure that's all there was to be had at the time.  Well into my middle years, I was without a care until one day my son, who was in his early 20s, caught me in my underwear and said, "Dad, nobody wears them anymore."

What?  You're kidding?  "No," he said.  Young and old alike were now wearing underpants that had "legs," he said, unlike the JCPenney briefs I was accustomed to wearing and that I had worn all my life.

I took his concern to heart.  At the local clothing store, I acquired my first pair of "boxer" shorts.  Actually, they were kind of cool and provided support unlike "tidy whities."  We're talking "package" here.

I blissfully continued to use and wear boxer shorts for decades thereafter.  When it became necessary for me to buy new boxers, I searched for them on the internet.  What I found was puzzling, incomprehensible.

No Fly Zone

"What the hell?  There's no fly!"  Manufacturers like GAP and others were displaying their latest styles. What I noticed quickly was that there was, in fact, no "gap."  No way for a man to access -- and manage -- the very personal act that went along with male genitalia.  To pee, these trend-setters decided it was better for a man to be standing in a public restroom in front of a urinal, and to pull down outer pants and underpants to expose, well, everything.

An alternative might be to take one hand or the other and pull a leg of the boxer shorts aside, thereby providing the necessary -- and often urgent -- access.

Why?  Why did clothing and fashion trends eliminate the fly that was so important?  

I can think of only one reason: to sell more underwear.  Without the fly, it became necessary to stretch the fabric, the result of which would eventually yield ill-fitting boxer shorts stretched all out of shape.  

I wonder if a male designed these new undergarments, or if someone who had no experience with a fly decided that was how men were to manage going forward.  The whole "no fly" affair leaves me shaking my head.  Yeah, and that too.